A STORY OF HOPE AND LOVE
This is a story of Hope and Love. This is a story that has turned tragedy into triumph. Life is all about choices. The Bible says to 'choose this day whom you may serve'. I have made my choice to choose Gods' way, the way of forgiveness. It has brought me freedom and a sense of knowing that I am control of my destiny and being an example for others to choose a way that is better.
My name is Paula Shillingsworth. My husband, Andy Dennis and our children have been following the Lord for three years. We started following the Lord because our lives and relationship wasnt going very good. Andy always says we would probably be split up by now if we didnt start following the Lord. I was feeling pretty low at the time because one of my sons had been involved in a murder and I was struggling with how to handle the situation. It was difficult not being in the same town as where he was because I wanted to be there for him. My son had been in jail for about 2 years when another son of mine drowned in the Macquarie River in Dubbo on September 16th, 2003. It was considered a black death in custody. His name was Robert Shillingsworth and he was 17 at the time.
A lot of people thought I would backslide and go away from the Lord but He was the one who gave me strength to keep going and has helped me with my grief. I felt bitter and angry in the beginning with the police but realised that these feelings would destroy my family and me if I let them. I knew that I couldnt change the situation or bring my son back. When the detective and the police involved in the case came to my mothers house in Dubbo, I asked everyone to leave the room and told them that I was a Christian and have forgivven them. I also wrote a letter to them after awhile explaining my feelings once I was back in Wilcannia. I wanted to make sure that they knew I had forgiven them because I wasnt sure of the details surrounding my sons drowning and still am not but I hold onto my memories of him and I know that I will see him again soon.
The Bible says there is no sorrow and sadness or tears in Heaven. Robert is not miserable now so it wouldnt do my family or me any good to be. Heaven is a place of unspeakable joy.
My partner Andy has been very supportive of me in this situation also, he has come to Dubbo with me many times since this happened for the funeral, court appearances etc. We are still waiting for the inquest and I am looking forward to it being over. I know it will bring closure to the whole situation.
In everything that has happened I always knew the Lord was with me. He says that He will never leave us or forsake us and I have proved this in my life.
God is a God who loves us and understands everything we go through. There have been times through my grief when I though nobody understands how I feel or at other times I felt lonely but knowing that a loving God was there made the difference. A little talk with Jesus makes it right.
Webmasters Note: (This article was extracted from the Koori Mail. Paula has now married her partner Andy and still going on for God)
Free at Last As I grew up, feeling lonely, full of anger, confusion and bitterness, I didn’t trust anyone. The emotions that controlled me led me to drugs, alcohol and later wanting to kill my self because I didn’t care about anything or anyone except for my son. Then one day my cousin came to my place and asked me to go with her to a church rally, so I went. When we got there I could hear the people praising the Lord and dancing around, they sounded happy which is what I wanted badly. I just started to cry like I never have cried before. My two children that I had with me were sick that night, so I stayed with them. A few minutes later a man and two ladies came over to us and started to share with me about Jesus and asked would I like to ask Jesus to come into my life. I said yes I do. It was the best decision that I have ever made. That night I felt freedom for the first time ever. I asked them to pray for my children because there were vomiting and they also had high temperatures. As they prayed, I knew that there was feeling a lot better. I knew Jesus had healed them, I just knew because something was different in the room that we were sleeping in, I can’t really explain it. I started to read the Bible that night and the scripture that stood out the most was “whom the Son sets free is free indeed”. As I kept reading every night, the Word of God mad me feel different and it helped me to understand that the Lord Jesus has a plan and a purpose for me, to have a wonderful life in Him. In Gods Word it says that what the devil meant for harm God turns it around for good. With all the hurts and abuse that had happened to me I now help and understand young women and girls whom God brings into my life in my community and to lead them to Jesus Christ. A Story of Searching
My name is Trish and I want to share what Jesus has done for me. I grew up in a home with my mum and dad and brothers and sisters, which sounds normal, but really wasn’t because although I had my family with me, I was getting abused, sexually, emotionally and physically.
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My name is Paula, I grew up in a little town with a population of about a hundred. I remember the Indian nuns coming out and singing songs about Jesus, but they never really explained to us about Him, like why did He die on the Cross, where He lived. They just told us we had to do what ever they told us.
Also, an Aboriginal family would come out and sing songs about Jesus around a big fire and they would talk about Jesus, but I didn't know what they were talking about. Then as I got older we moved to another town to attend High School and those Indian nuns would come and force us to go to church. I went with them and I remember we had to be real quiet, it was almost like being at a funeral. They made us take communion and they had real wine and they made us go into this little room and tell this man all the bad things I did. He asked me how long it was since I last confessed all my sins and I would tell him. I really thought that this man was God. I would come out of that room feeling good because I knew that I told God all my sins and that He will let me go to Heaven, but I also felt ashamed and guilty because of what I told him.
Once I went with some friends to a service and the hall was packed, they were playing this music loud and fast, then it would get softer and slower and as it did everyone there starting to speak in a different language, it really scared me and I left. It was like I was searching for Jesus, but I didn't know where He was.
After a few years I left school and had a couple of kids. I remember when I used to feel lonely and down I would think about Jesus. My cousin and her mother told me that they were Christians and I went to church with them. I thought I really found Jesus there, but it didn't feel right, it was like something was missing.
In the Bible it speaks about how God called Abraham away from his country, his family and took him to a new place. I really believe thats what happened to me. I moved from my family and friends and I came to Wilcannia. It wasn't until another couple of years that I learned that there was a Church here in Wilcannia. My husband and I went looking for our son and we heard this music, so we followed the music and it led to to the Church where the people were happy and I knew then that I found what I was looking for.
God has blessed us with a new family, loving and caring Pastors, but the best blessing was when we asked Jesus into our hears. We are still here learning about Jesus and sometimes it gets hard and I feel like giving up, but just thinking about what Jesus did for me makes me keep going. I think now about all the years I wasted not knowing Jesus, but Praise God, I can think of the years ahead of me, what God has for me. I just got to get where He wants me to be and stop and listen for His voice.
I have made a lot of bad decisions in my life, but this is the best decision I have ever made and I wouldn't trade it for anything or anyone. AMEN!!
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Anger turns to Joy
My name is Ann but I am known as Dodie. I come from a family of two sisters and five brothers and I'm the youngest. From the age of sixteen I found pleasure in alcohol and parties.
I didn't finish school and I became pregnant at the age of seventeen and learnt to become a mother quick but that didn't stop me drinking and partying, also in and out of relationships that left me with a couple of kids. I ended up settling down a bit and ended up with seven children but sadly lost 1.
My relationship wasn't stable because of the alcohol, drugs, violence and unfaithfulness. All of these negative actions caused a separation. I was so fall of stress and depression that I tried suicide a few times and ended up in hospital a few times for that reason.
There was one time when I tried to kill myself and I out to it, and remembering seeing a bright light and had no understanding about that light, but now understand. After that experience, I got myself a job at the Wilcannia Mission School and worked there for two years, at the same time some of my kids were going there too.
It was around that time the father of my children was diagnosed with cancer. I chose to give up my job to look after him, even though I didn’t have to as we were not living together and had seperated, however, because I chose to do that, I became very angry and bitter, but I did it it for the kids. I looked after him for 8 months until he died.
I became hard-hearted, very selfish, hated everything and everyone, done and said things and didn't care if I offended anyone, especially my children. I put my children through a lot of pain, but I didn't care. It was about this time that I met Dave who is now my husband. I knew he was a Christian and started to ask him questions about his faith and he told me about the Lord. I ended up trying this God of his and ended up finding the truth. I learnt that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life.
Since surrendering my life to Christ I have found that my life is so much better now and I know that I have a plan and a purpose in Jesus Christ and I thank Him and praise Him from where He has brought me from.
There are so many things I've left out from then up to now, but the main point is that God is Love, and His love has changed my life right around, and He can do it for anyone, I believe. When I saw that light that time I now realise that Jesus was that Light, and was with me through all those times of torment and suffering. God Is Good
